


Strong enough.

by Crowleysdarkangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 21:53:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2204400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowleysdarkangel/pseuds/Crowleysdarkangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine that Castiel has temporarily used you as a vessel, when you meet again, he wants to be 'in you' in an entirely different way!</p>
<p>Angst- in regards to readers life got a bit messed up after Castiel leaves</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strong enough.

It was pouring, you can hear the drumming on the rooftops, see it running down windowpanes of the diner you worked in. You loved it when the weather was like this it was coming down in wonderfully wet drops, soaking everything that it came into contact with instantly. 

It looked as though it was going to be one of those long boring shifts at the diner; you were working late as another waitress had called in sick, so you were going to be here until closing, like it or not. The pair took a seat by the window, sitting opposite from each other and it looks as if they were going to be here for the duration, one of them getting out a laptop from the bag he was carrying. No doubt hooking himself up to the Wi-Fi as soon as he started tapping away on the keys. 

Placing your book face down on the counter you made the way over to their table and got your notebook out you put your best smile on, “What can I get for you?”

Without looking from his laptop, the one with the long hair says, “Coffee, thanks.”

“Sorry about him, we’ve had a long day,” said his friend with a smile, “I’ll have the same, look we’re going to be sticking around for a few days, do you know a motel around here?”

“I know the feeling,” you say with a wry smile, writing down the address of the most reasonable one, and handing it to him, taking the menu and placing it back into the holder, “There’s one that’s cheaper but trust me when I say, you don’t want to stay there. Be right back.”

“Thanks!” He takes the slip of paper as soon as you place it on the table, glancing at it briefly before putting it in his pocket.

Walking back behind the counter, you started get their cups and coffee ready, you didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that tonight was going to be slow, you knew that you were going to get to finish the book that you were reading and then what? Looking at the clock again you found that it was only a couple of minutes later than when you last looked. 

Making your way back to the table you were surprised to find there were now three sat at the table, just showed how tired you were, you didn’t even see the guy in the trench coat walk in and he would have had to walk straight past you. 

You sigh, picking up the coffee pot and making your way back over to the table where there were now weirdly three of them. They did seem to be a bit of an odd mix, guy in a suit the others in denim. They were listening to what the guy with the laptop was saying, as now all three were looking at the computer intently.

“Can I get you anything?” You ask the newcomer as you set the cups down and started to pour the coffee out, noticing he was bone dry, quite an achievement considering the weather. “Thanks, err no,” the guy that had asked about the motel answers, “don’t worry, he doesn’t tend to.”

“Okay,” you smile at them, thinking that it’s strange trench coat can’t speak for himself.

“________ .” On hearing your name you turn to the person that says it, and are met by some of the bluest eyes you have ever seen, but that’s not the most striking thing it’s the intensity behind them that catches your breath.

“That’s what it says on my badge,” you say cheerfully, trying to break the silence realising that you have been staring into his eyes a little bit longer than you should; he’s already looking at you confused.

“________, it is I Castiel.” He says, holding the same expression and your smile drops, it had been what? Months since someone had made the joke, but it still hurt. You’d never heard it from three total strangers before.

“No, you’re not! We all know that you’re not! Who put you up to this? Was it Kenny at the gas station?” You ask angrily, that jerk had been getting at you for quite some time now.

“No, I do not know Kenny, and as you are more than aware, I have wings so why would I need any type of fuel?” he answers simply, putting his head to one side. You look at the other two hoping that they would give you some support, but they just smiled, embarrassed. Trust it to be the guy in the suit, pity he was good looking.

“He’s just joking,” the one with the short hair explains, with a strained smile.

“Well, it’s not funny.” You reply tersely, as you turn to leave your arm is grabbed, from the suddenness, the coffee pot slips from your grasp. You look to see the owner of those intense eyes, who had only just been sat down behind you less than a fraction of a second ago, is now in front of you and has hold of you. Now that he is touching your bare arm you feel the pull of the angel, pulling at the bit that was left behind in you and its reaching back you hardly believe it. The moment between you two is ruined by the sound of smashing glass and drops of scalding hot coffee on your feet.

“Castiel?” your voice barely a whisper, surprised that you could even make a sound.

“Cas what are you doing?” one of his friends, you don’t know which mutters, “People are starting to stare, at you attacking the waitress.”

“I did try to tell you.” He states matter-of-factly looking at you, was that sass the angel was giving you? “I am at a loss to understand why you did not believe me at first.”

“_______, you ok?” you hear Doris call from wherever the hell she is. 

“I’m fine!” You yell.

“You gonna let go of her Cas?” long hair smiles starting to look worried.

Castiel looks almost sorry to let go of your arm and sits in the closest seat to him. Missing the contact instantly you sit opposite him, totally forgetting about the coffee that was making a pool on the floor. You had thought about this moment when you would meet the angel again. However now that he, which seemed weird because you’d never thought about Castiel as a ‘he’ before, was in front of you couldn’t remember a single thing to say.

When you finally tear your eyes away from his, you realise that you’re leaning towards him and your noticeably shaking hands are inching towards his from across the table. You force yourself to lean back and put your hands underneath the table nervously wringing them together hoping no one noticed. 

“Soooo… Cas you wanna tell us what’s going on?” the guy sat next to Castiel asks elbowing him, trying to get his attention, but Castiel doesn't take his eyes, off you. 

“_______, was my vessel…for a time,” Castiel states. He looks at you as though he is searching you for some kind of answers that he’d not verbalized the questions to, “when I was in search of a vessel strong enough to contain me.”

“So this is…” the one next to you asks.

“I can use ______ as a vessel.” Castiel confirms, finally dragging his eyes away from you to reply.

“So... this is what female you looks like?” The one next to Castiel smirks wiggling his eyebrows at you, “female you is hot.”

“Thanks I, I guess.” you breathe with a little smile.

“Dean, that is highly inappropriate.” Castiel says condescendingly starting to look a bit uncomfortable, you notice that he hasn’t moved his hands away from you, in fact ‘he’s’ leaning closer to you, you dismiss it. Sure that you must be imagining it, hoping for something so much you actually start to see it, even though it’s not there.

“Castiel, tell me you understand why I said no,” You say, feeling the start of tears welling in your eyes. To say no to the angel had been the hardest decision to deal with, “they said I was crazy, and after you left, I started to think that I was crazy. I lost my job. When you finally came back, I couldn’t go through that again. I wasn’t strong enough.”

Castiel places his head to one side at you for a time, furrowing his brow further. You notice the other two are looking visibly uncomfortable, but with Castiel and yourself sat on the outside seats of the booth there’s absolutely no escape for them. The last thing you need is to be crying in front of two strangers as all the hurt engulfs you at once. Nerves finally get the better of you and as he opens his mouth to speak, you get up gesturing to the mess on the floor , mumbling as you walk away, “I better get this cleaned up.”

“Are you okay?” Doris says from behind the counter, in your haste you hadn’t even noticed that she was back. 

“No,” you reply honestly, because there was no mistaking the look on your face, “Just tell me one thing, there are three guys sat over there right?”

“Yeah,” She looks over and you follow her gaze, all three of them are watching you, “Why? What the hell did they say to you?”

“Nothing,” you say quickly, She gave you a look like she didn’t believe you. There was no hiding the mess that you were in, “Really, one of them even said I was hot, I managed to do most of the talking.”

“Which one?” She asks leaning forward with a conspiratorial smile.

“The one in the leather jacket,” you needed to change the subject quickly, “anyway, could you sort the... while I sort myself out?”

Not waiting for an answer, you rushed off into the restroom not really caring if the coffee got mopped up or not. Wiping the tears from your eyes you splash water on your face, and try to compose yourself.

“Hello ______.” you spin around, to find him less than an inch away from you and you looking into his chest. You’d forgotten that you, no he could do that.

“Castiel, you can’t, it’s the ladies room, and you’re in a male vessel now.” You remind him trying to resist the urge to touch him.

“Sam advised me that I should ask if you are well, he made it sound as if time was of import,” He said leaning his head to one side, “was he wrong, should I not have?”

“Castiel, I’m just having a little difficulty, with whatever this is,” you said desperately trying to keep your hands by your side and search for the words to accurately describe it to him, “seeing you again, and being near you is… I’m finding it a little… overwhelming.” 

“You feel it too?” he asks stepping forward ever so slightly, so that there could hardly be a hairs breadth between you. His head inclined down so that his lips are almost brushing your cheek and you can feel his breath on your neck.

“Yes” You admit breathing out, glad that it wasn’t just you. The closer he was, the harder it was becoming to control yourself, “Is this normal, to feel… this way?” 

“I am unsure,” he says looking perplexed, “I had thought that it was my vessels reaction to you, but it would appear that it is something else as well, if you are feeling it also. The experience is confusing.”

There was nothing confusing about it, you just wanted to touch him, or for him to touch you, to be as close to him as you possibly could. Unsure of what to do, you look down at the floor. You see his hand twitching towards you in much the same way that yours had towards him. Grabbing his hand you see his body relax and the tension you didn’t even realise that you had in your shoulders left. Lifting your other hand so that it rests on his chest, he emits a gentle sigh.

“Your vessel is reacting to me?” you whisper, getting yourself together enough to look up into those eyes of his, but before he answers a customer walked into the room and he’d gone in an instant. She doesn’t even realise that he had been there and walks straight into the stall.

While you wash your hands the thought hits you, what if he’s gone for good? Rushing out of the restroom, you almost walk straight into him; he looks as though he had been pacing the floor outside waiting for you. He grabs your hand with his, you get the feeling that whatever it was, he was experiencing it just as keenly. You two should sit and talk through whatever what happening, you turn but everyone in the diner is watching you two. 

“Going on a break,” you yell over your shoulder while leading Castiel out back.

As you walked out the door it was raining heavier than you remember, perhaps this wasn’t the best place for you two to talk but it offered you some privacy. There was a little bit of shelter and it looked as if it was slowing. You feel his hand tighten around yours, and you cannot deny that holding his hand feels comfortable in equal measure to the pain of not, as if the void that was created when the angel left is somehow being filled.

As you look up you find that his eyes are on you, watching you, watching the rain. You smile unsure of what to say, of how to start. The silence is a comfortable one neither of you have to speak, it’s enough to close to him. Realising he’s getting soaked you pull him underneath what little shelter there is, trying to keep him as dry as possible and getting him closer to you. You think how easily you have fallen into calling him a ‘he’ but even angels called each other brother and sister depending on their vessel. 

“You do understand?” you ask quietly over the rain, you can’t bear him thinking badly of you.

“Why you said no? Now, after speaking with you, yes” He sighs almost looking saddened, “at the time I’m afraid I did not. However I am glad, had I continued to use you as a vessel I would have started to harm you, it appears that I have affected you enough.”

The relief washing over you, it made you feel better hearing it. It explained why he had never come back. It had been a long time for you but for him you were sure the time felt like a blink. “You haven’t hurt me, if that’s what you mean” you mutter. 

Castiel loosens the grip on your hand, but he moves closer still, whispering in that deep voice he has now, “I am struggling to control the sensations that I am experiencing when around you. You appear to be dealing with it better than myself.”

“I am?” you didn’t feel as though you were coping with it at all being so close to him was intoxicating. Especially with him being so close, if you moved your head slightly forward, it would be on his chest. If you moved up and stood on your tiptoes you could easily kiss those lips of his that are now wet from rain. If you weren’t touching him you wanted to, when you were, the contact only made you want more.

“I believe I have determined the cause of my disorientation.” he says looking nervously down at you, the raindrops in his hair catching the light almost giving the appearance of a halo.

“You have?” You ask, it was painfully obvious to you, but then he was an angel who knows what he could be thinking, you did remember some bizarre jumps in thought.

“I want to be with you, the desire to be so, is… staggering” he says reaching up to cup your head in his hands, “not only with you, but I wish to be… in you as well.”

“What?” You whisper as the realisation he’s asking you to be his vessel again sinks in leaving a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. You step back and he emits a little groan as you step away from him and release your hand, “you said you understood! I can’t, I’m sorry. I’m still not… I just can’t, I’m not strong enough.”  
“I doubt that I have expressed myself clearly. I am unsure of how best to proceed the feelings are chaotic.” he says calmly his brow furrowing in concentration.

“I’m hoping you haven’t!” you exclaim.

As he starts to walks towards you, you start to back up until you reach the wall, afraid that he was going to pressure you to becoming his vessel, instead he asks squinting through the rain, “I do not understand do you not find this vessel satisfactory?”

“What?” you ask, he really wasn’t making any sense. Whatever emotion it was really must be messing with him, what did his current vessel have to do with it?

“I could find another, if you desire it,” he straightens up looking like he was considering it, “am I correct in understanding you prefer males, do you not?”

You find yourself speechless, how many vessels did he need? What the hell did your preference have to do with it? Then it clicks what he actually means by ‘in you’, “Ooooh! You mean... you’re attracted to me in a…in a...physical way?”

“Yes!” he breathes out looking relieved that you’d found a way to express it, “the feelings are exhausting, as I have acknowledged I am having some difficulty with them. What did you think I meant?”

“Nothing, just experiencing... difficulties myself,” you smile grabbing his arm and pulling him towards you admitting rolling your eyes slightly, “I find your vessel, satisfactory”

“I am glad” he whispers his lips no more than a hairs breadth away from yours.

“Does your vessel find me… satisfactory?” you ask awkwardly.

“Yes of course, the reaction that it was having, that is why I initially thought … why?” He asks looking at you intently.

“Like it or not Castiel, there are actually three of us here, two bodies, and three beings.” You remind him, you would hate to think of a vessel being, well not forced, but unable to stop something like this happening, after being one.

For a second he looks excruciatingly embarrassed, and looks down. You follow his gaze his rain drenched coat had been hiding the fact that he had quite an erection, and you were willing to bet that had been most of the cause of his distress. 

“Ooooooh,” You gulp, feeling the rain on your face again, as it dawns on you what the pained expressions have been about and squeeze his hand reassuringly, “oh it’s alright, just part of using a male as a vessel. I guess that’s proof that your vessel thinks, I’m… satisfactory too.”

“It does?” he asks breathing heavily, appearing even more worked up, “The thoughts that have been running through my mind, when we are touching, or close to one another are not thoughts befitting of an angel!”

“Thoughts like what?” You ask, as he looks almost angry with himself, there was no way that you as his vessel would have been able to affect the angel like this. He makes a sound as if it’s almost painful for him to verbalise them. You pull him closer to you hoping it would help him calm down. However all it does is send your pulse racing as you feel his erection harden. Pushing that thought to the back of your mind gently you say, “You know everything about me Castiel, you can’t tell me this?”

“Would I be given the chance, I would take you now, here in the rain, against this very wall. “he groans, looking anywhere but you, like he didn’t dare in case of what he might find in your expression, as if it’s the most horrific suggestion ever. In the rain? With someone who literally knew everything about you, with the connection that you two have, sounds like the hottest thing ever.

“Well, errm, I get off in a few hours...” you suggest, hoping that it was simply the place that was the issue. Truth be told, you didn’t know how you were going to get through them, for an entirely different reason than an hour ago.

“I highly doubt that I shall be able to control myself for that duration of time. The last few minutes have been hard enough.” he says finally dragging his eyes back onto yours, his eyelashes which now look black, are stuck together from the rain that is still falling and they make his eyes stand out even more.

“But I’d like to have the chance to...” so you say quietly with your mouth suddenly dry, despite water being everywhere, not entirely sure of how to propose it to in case you offend or unnerve him. It was you now that was looking away and blushing, brushing your wet hair behind your ear, “that idea of yours that would work for me you know, if you wanted.”

Wondering perhaps if you’ve said too much, he obviously finds the act unthinkable, you shouldn't have said anything at all. The next few hours were going to be the longest couple of hours of your life and you start to think of how you are going to work in your cold sodden clothes.

Feeling his hot breath on your cold neck, he ever so gently nudges the wet hair from your cheek with the tip of his finger. The rain on your skin helping the electricity and heat flow between you. The sensation makes you feel dizzy as you close your eyes, and you can’t help a little giggle escaping you as he nuzzles into your neck licking droplets and planting light kisses all the way down your damp skin as Castiel makes his way down to the nape of your neck and starts to kiss you though wet clothes as he meets the fabric tasting you and drinking the rain before he pulls away. 

As you turn towards him a raindrop lands your lip and you lick it away, it’s coolness making you shiver all the way down your spine. His lips and his body come colliding onto yours, the kiss full of pent up frustration from the desire that has been building since the two of you first touched each other. You reach up running both your hands through his drenched hair as he presses every inch of his whole body towards yours, pinning you to the wall.

Running your hands down his neck feeling his stubble and you don’t know how Castiel was managing to keep hold of you as your hands were struggling to keep hold, slipping on the wetness of his skin and clothes, you manage to get his soaked coat off him and it slops to the floor. 

He was wet through, his coat had offered him no protection at all from the deluge, his hair plastered to his skull much as you suspected yours was. His clothing sticks to his body every muscle standing out in under his wet clothes, accentuating them in light and shadow. You take a moment drink the sight him as he presses his head into your chest and starts to kiss the bare skin he is able to find, you exclaim, “oh boy! This is actually happening.”

Lifting his head so that you’re able to kiss each other deeply, you start to loosen further he’s already loosened tie, parting lips for the briefest of seconds to pull it over his head and get yourself some much needed air in to your lungs, before his lips career back into yours his hands wiping the rain gently from your face and you scramble to undo the buttons on his shirt with shivering hands slipping, you eventually give up and again wrangle the wet shirt over his head.

With the rain pouring over him, with that look in his eyes he certainly looks like an angel, you can’t help yourself from you giggle, shaking your head, “satisfactory!”  
“What is it?” Castiel narrows his eyes squinting at you through drops of water, “Have I done something wrong? I assure you I am serious in my intentions ________.”

You stifle a laugh, and you reach out to reassure him, he could be very serious and your laughter would only confuse him further. “Ooo no, you’re doing just ... I was, just marvelling at how... satisfactory your vessel is.” You manage to get out in-between breaths grinning at the massive understatement you doubt you are using the same scale.

“I am pleased.” He says with all seriousness, you notice he puffs his chest a little.

“For the record, take you, will always be better than I want to be in you.” You smile.

“It is?” he says narrowing his eyes at you, “I don’t..”

“Oh, come here,” you pull him closer. He drenches you with each of his tender kisses you feel yourself getting warmer despite the cold, his lips burning into yours. Droplets moisten every inch of your body and as you shiver your breath speeds up as his grip on your body tightens so much you feel as if you might be crushed.   
With lips locked to each other you set to work undoing his belt and trousers, he pulls your dress up to your waist with both hands, heavy with water the fabric sticking to your skin as he slides it up your thighs. The deluge that is seemingly sealing you together abruptly stops, along with the breeze even though you swear the sky has just gotten even darker.

Tearing you lips away from his you find yourself entombed in black feathers, the rain drops nestling on top of them like jewels that highlight the iridescent blue on the fringes. You’d felt them of course, the sheer weight of them pulling at your back was one of the clearest memories that you had, but you’d never seen them before. Unable to resist you reached out to them running the tips of your fingers through the canopy of thick feathers and he lets out a little cry of pleasure. 

“You like that, huh?” you ask, he nods furiously with a wild look in his eyes his chest suddenly heaving up and down. You’re amazed that you are able to have that affect on Castiel, having some confirmation it wasn’t just his vessel and you running the show. Burying your hands deeper into the immense feathers, some of them as long as you were tall, you repeat the action this time tightening your fingers slightly around them you lightly pull on them. 

His eyes flutter shut and you are hit with a shower of light droplets from every angle as his wings shudder along with his whole body as so a deep guttural moan rumbled through Castiel, rolling up from the pit of his stomach. The look of pure ecstasy on his face was a sight to behold.

You whisper into his ear, “you’re magnificent.”

You can’t get close enough to his body and he must feel the same way as Castiel leans in further, placing one of his legs between yours. Large wings surround you on each side and keep you warm as your hands roam up his chest and around his neck pulling him into you closer. His hands move your panties aside and instantly find the bundle of nerves massaging with his fingers eliciting much the same response from you that you had from running your fingers through his feathers leaving you trembling, your legs weak and an entirely different dampness between your legs. Wanting to reach back up to his wings so you could both feel the sensations at the same time, but not having the strength or the focus to do so.

“Your beauty, consumes me, never say yes to another angel.” He pleads through hooded lids his irises so dilated that his eyes appear black.   
“I promise.” you whisper.

In one swift movement, he lifts you up his wings cushioning your head against the wall. You wind you arms and legs around him holding him to your body and you are reminded of how strong he is. He thrusts his hips forward and he enters you, if you didn’t know better you would think expertly but he knows your body as you do. Your senses are flooded, overcome with the feelings of having the angel so close, somehow even then it is still not close enough. 

Hearing the near animal sounds coming reflected back at you from the both of you as he repeatedly thrusts into you a little further each time as he becomes more confident spurred on by the noise you are making Its sends you hurtling, careering headlong towards your orgasm. Your back arches against the cold wet wall and although his hands start to slip, somehow he manages to keep hold of you.

Feeling that you are close, you take your arms from around his neck and start to run them through the feathers that are almost on every side of you. He roars, sounding like thunder and you repeat the process over and over as you pulsate rhythmically together, both of you working faster and faster, your sweat mixing with rain water.  
With only a few more of his strokes your vision blurs as your orgasm approaches and you feel that he must be close too as the muscles in his arms clench, his wings vibrating almost in song, and in the process showering your face with cold drops of liquid. As you tighten around him you hear his release with yours as you both shout each other’s names up towards the sky, enjoying the sensation of the cool rain running down your smouldering skin.

The rain falls a little harder now, the wall freezing in comparison against his hot skin. Keeping both of his arms around your waist he releases your legs to the floor, leaning in so that his wings protect the pair of you from the worst of the cold water. You rest against each other as the endorphins start to drain away, you realise he will have to leave probably better sooner than later. For you it will feel like something has been torn away from you, but you sense this time you won’t ever be alone for long.

Castiel wouldn’t want to see you upset; he was having enough trouble dealing with his own emotions, without having to cope with yours. You decide you’ll have to be strong enough for the both of you, the first to break the embrace that you have each other in, and the first to face and return to harsh reality. Rain hides the few tears that you are unable keep inside from the thought of him leaving. Somehow, as you run your fingers through his hair, perhaps as the rain and tears mix together making tracks down your cheeks, they wash away your fears with them as well.


End file.
